Punky
by Mistress Megatron
Summary: Megatron invites the autobots to come listen to his band, the Decepticons, perform. Optimus isn't quite sure just how this is going to go down as he and the autobots agree to accept the invitation. Oneshot.


Wow, they really did update the document thing...anyways. I wrote this oneshot to celebrate my 100th favorite author add. THANK YOU GUYS SO MUCH I LOVE YOU!! And congrats to decepticonqueen218 for being my 100th adder. So I wrote this just for you guys, it's kind of weird, but it's enjoyable. But like I've said in the rest of my stories so far, I'm doing a real sequel to My Life Began With You now and no more deleted scenes nonsense. Make sure you read Deceptigirl's story Twisted Worlds and REVIEW it. I've peeked over there a couple times and I see a couple nice people have reviewed it, but more people need to.

**Disclaimer:** Gosh these things are annoying. You know the drill though, Transformers and all related characters belong to Hasbro and not me because if they did belong to me, I'd be married to Megatron, and I'd be filthy rich too.

* * *

**Punky**

Optimus wasn't quite sure what to think when he opened his email inbox and saw an email from Megatron entitled, _Decepticon Band Performance_. In fact, he wasn't even sure if he dared to open it up and read it. Eventually his curiosity overcame him and he clicked on the email. Seconds later he read:

_Optimus Prime,_

_You and your autobots are invited to witness a historic event…and you better believe it when I say historic. My decepticons and I have formed a band, our band name being quite obvious…Decepticons…_

_We will be performing tonight at the Trion Nightclub roughly around 7:00pm human time. You may wonder why we formed this group…to be honest I'm not quite sure, other than to teach my army how to be a team. No, the war is not over, and it shall not be until I am proclaimed Emperor of the universe!_

_(Insert evil laugh here),_

_Megatron_

Optimus blinked a couple times as he stared at the screen of his computer. He reread the email a couple times just to verify whether or not his optics had deceived him…and they hadn't. Knowing his fellow autobots would want to hear about his, he printed off the email and headed to the command center. Once there, he called the autobots to the command center where he told them he had gotten an email from Megatron and explained what it was about. The autobot leader read the confused and surprised looks on his comrades' faces and asked, "Should we follow through with the invitation?"

Wing-Saber looked at the rest of the autobots momentarily before he looked to Optimus and said, "We should. I think it would be a good source of blackmail against the decepticons."

"What if it is a trap though?" Landmine piped up.

"Then we go prepared to fight," Jetfire exclaimed agreeing with Wing-Saber, "And if you want to play the role of chicken, then you don't have to go."

Landmine shot him a glare, "Oh you better believe I'm going now."

Optimus looked his autobots over before saying, "Alright, we'll go, but we will go prepared for an attack. It is totally not like the decepticons to do something like this."

The rest of the autobots agreed. They decided they would leave close to seven o'clock since they weren't sure if the decepticons were performing at seven, from the email it sounded like Megatron wasn't sure of the time himself.

* * *

Trion Nightclub wasn't too far from the autobot base, considering they used a space gate to get there. The club was rather large. There was a bar, a dance floor, a stage, and plenty of tables where the autobots could occupy themselves until the decepticons made an appearance. Optimus, Wing-Saber, and Jetfire had gotten a table to themselves, while Override and Hotshot got a table, Leobreaker and Snarl got a table, and Vector Prime, Scattershot, Landmine, and Red Alert seated themselves at the bar.

7:00pm came and went, and it wasn't long until it was nearly eight o'clock. Some of the autobots had ordered drinks and others were just growing very restless. The music that was playing was beginning to become annoying and many of the bots were ready to take their leave. That was until Thunderblast suddenly walked into the bar, from behind the stage, making many of the autobots perk up with interest. She stopped at Optimus, Wing-Saber, and Jetfire's table where she crossed her arms and cocked one hip to the side. The three autobots looked at her, building for an extremely awkward moment before she said, "Sorry we're late, I hope you autobots weren't getting too bored."

Optimus looked at her warily before he asked, "What are you doing here, Thunderblast?"

"I have orders from Megatron to keep you guys busy until he and the rest of the decepticons finish setting up."

Wing-Saber, Jetfire, and Optimus exchanged glances and Jetfire was the one to ask, "Keep us busy? Do I dare ask how?"

"Hold on a minute," she exclaimed and went over to the bar and asked the bartender something that the autobots couldn't hear. The femme then came back over to the table and climbed onto it just as Sexy Naughty Bitchy Me by Tata Young began playing.

Optimus watched bewildered as Thunderblast began dirty dancing for them…and it wasn't too long before he put a hand over his optics and just turned away. However, Wing-Saber and Jetfire were rather enjoying it. In fact, they were enjoying it probably a lot more than what they should have been. Jetfire stared at her chest while Wing-Saber kept his optics on her posterior with a goofy grin on his face. Optimus stole a peek at them and questioned why he had been foolish enough to sit at the same table with them.

Luckily for him though, the song was cut short and Thunderblast stopped dancing wondering where her music had gone to. She turned to the stage and saw the decepticons set up and ready to perform…abruptly she sat down on the table and said, "Okay, I guess you guys are getting a new source of entertainment now."

"And I was really enjoying the current one too," Wing-Saber complained, Jetfire agreeing with him.

A voice came over the loudspeaker and announced the performance of the Decepticons. Thunderblast smiled with excitement. "You autobots are in for a real treat. Megatron can sing really good."

Optimus looked at her stunned, "Megatron's…singing?"

Thunderblast nodded, "And he's also playing the lead guitar."

The autobot leader's optics went wide, "He plays guitar?"

"It sounds like you really don't know your enemy," she said and then continued, "Starscream has back up vocals, and he's on bass. Thundercracker is on drums, Ransack is on tambourine and Crumplezone the triangle."

"What about Scourge?"

"He's in charge of the pyrotechnics."

"I see," Optimus remarked thinking that was a suitable job for the Jungle Planet leader, "I'm guessing you're just the mascot."

"Cheerleader actually."

"_Bands have cheerleaders now?"_ Optimus thought to himself not sure if he should ask that question out loud or not for the risk of being insulted if his question proved to be true. Instead he reluctantly turned his attention to Megatron and his band of decepticons on stage. He hadn't made up his mind if coming was a good thing or not yet.

The stage was dark, no one could be seen. Rock music started playing from the stage, and it actually sounded pretty good. Optimus was just dreading hearing Megatron sing…or scream…he wasn't sure what Megatron's musical tastes were, if he had any musical tastes. Spotlights engulfed the stage suddenly as two beams of fire shot from the floor and the decepticons could be seen rocking out. Optimus heard some of the autobots snicker at this site…and the autobot leader felt knots of embarrassment creeping through him. Was this really the evil dictator he had been fighting for all these eons?

He watched anxiously as Megatron walked up to the microphone and was almost tempted to cover his audio receptors. There was no telling how this was going to go down. Optimus quickly looked to the floor, but out of the corner of his optic he could see Thunderblast getting all giddy with excitement. _"Maybe he isn't that bad…"_ Optimus thought trying to squash the embarrassment building inside of him.

Jetfire and Wing-Saber seemed to notice Optimus's downcast and anxious stupor and Wing-Saber finally piped up, "Chill out Optimus, if the decepticons want to make fools of themselves then so be it."

"Besides, it's probably best we all had a little fun," Jetfire quickly added.

Optimus figured they were right and he took a breath and looked up just as Megatron began to sing, not scream, and Optimus was surprised at how Megatron's baritone voice actually sounded rather…good. Of course it wasn't perfect, but the decepticon leader did have talent with his voice. And the autobot leader had to suppress a chuckle as he listened to the first verse of the song.

_Across the galaxies I came, back to planet earth_

_I am the son of darkness now here to show my worth_

_My name sparks fear into those who've faced my wrath_

_And if you're smart then you'll know never to cross my path_

_I have many enemies and I'm stronger than them all_

_And it won't be long now until every single one of them falls_

Optimus sighed and crossed his arms. This song was nothing more than a battle cry…another pompous speech made by the decepticon leader to show his self-proclaimed awesomeness. Thunderblast elbowed him suddenly and asked, "Isn't he great?"

"Do I really have to answer that question?"

Thunderblast pouted and turned away from him. Wing-Saber and Jetfire chuckled at this. Optimus didn't notice the video camera they had recording the decepticons performance. It wasn't everyday a person got to see the decepticons perform like this. The autobot leader also didn't notice some of the autobots getting drunk from the number of high-grade energon drinks they had had. Perhaps it had been the decepticons real intention to just get them drunk so that they could easily get the Cyber Planet Keys and the Omega Lock at the next battle…but perhaps they also just wanted to have fun for once in their lives.

_Prepare for the beginning of the end_

Vector Prime was getting a headache, rock music had never been his type, he preferred Beethoven or Mozart…they were more his time period anyway. So, without saying a word to anyone, he merely got up and left, but no one noticed he did because he had been so quiet. He wasn't going that far anyway…just outside the nightclub. Once outside, he pulled out a pack of cyber-cigarettes from his subspace. He lit one up and decided to enjoy the calmness of the night rather than the noise inside. And perhaps getting high would cure him of that terrible headache he had.

Back inside the nightclub Thunderblast was bouncing up and down where she was seated on top of the table still. She squealed, "Here's the chorus!"

Optimus took little notice of her and simply said, "You seriously need to calm down."

"No way!"

_This universe will be mine, nothing can hold me back_

_You better run and hide when I shout Decepticons attack_

_We're only here to help darken your lightest hour_

_And you better believe when I say I wield the hand of power_

_Know that there will be no sort of Autobot salvation_

_Prepare for total domination_

If anyone dared to observe Hotshot and Override, one could see that the two of them had had one too many high-grade drinks. Hotshot leaned over and grabbed the leg of Override's chair and pulled her chair abruptly against his. He then wrapped an arm around her waist and the femme leaned against him. There was a mood in the atmosphere around those two that spelled out the word sleepover…to put it in a PG rating.

Landmine was even getting drunk himself. He was really thirsty, probably from the dryness and humidity of the nightclub, and high-grade was the only type of drink they served. He knew he was going to have one hell of a headache when he woke up the next morning.

_I am an endless being of darkness preaching suffering and pain_

_And in my glorious lifetime countless thousands I have slain_

_All of you will get on one knee and declare your loyalty_

_To me and only me, treat me like divine royalty_

_If you even begin to think that I somehow can be stopped_

_I will destroy you and that ego you had will be popped_

Optimus winced hearing the popped line; it really didn't suit Megatron's choice of words. But he figured the rhyme worked and he guessed that's all that mattered. Sighing he checked the time on his internal clock…it had only been about ten minutes since the last time he had checked. He couldn't wait until this was over, it was rather awkward the whole thing. Optimus looked to the stage and saw an annoyed look growing across Starscream's face…something was going to happen.

_Prepare for the beginning of the end_

Thunderblast sang along as Megatron repeated the chorus. Optimus winced; her voice sounded like glass breaking…either that or it was whiny enough to make glass break. Megatron finished the chorus, much to the autobot leader's relief and then broke into a guitar solo. He felt his spark almost stop beating when a couple of his autobots began cheering Megatron on. Yes Megatron played a good lead guitar…but his autobots supporting the leader of their sworn enemy? It was outlandish!

He sighed and put a hand to his forehead…for some odd reason he had a headache coming on.

Megatron was just about to sing the chorus into the microphone again when suddenly Starscream snatched the mike away from him. The decepticon leader shot a glare at him and stopped playing, crossing his arms. Starscream proceeded to snatch his guitar away from him and continued playing the melody as he sang into the mike.

_Megatron may believe that he has the most worth_

_But has anyone told you of his increasing girth?_

_And he claims you shouldn't cross his path_

_But with his rubber duck he takes a bubble bath_

_All my master says is his stupid dream_

_That's why you should favor me, Starscream_

Megatron snatched his guitar away from Starscream and bellowed, "Lies!"

"Or are they sir?" Starscream combated throwing his bass guitar into the crowd and then going behind stage where he got his own lead guitar. He came back out and started playing against Megatron.

The decepticon leader growled and began playing complicated sequences of chords and notes that he believed Starscream couldn't keep up with…but his second in command did. At this time, Thundercracker, Crumplezone, and Ransack had stopped playing and looked at each other wondering just what was going on. They supposed it was just the battle of the bands…but in this case it seemed more appropriate as battle of the guitars. Believing their parts were over, Thundercracker, Ransack, and Crumplezone packed up their instruments and walked off the stage.

The autobots watched giggling until Megatron finally gave up and slammed his guitar on the stage. He walked offstage as Starscream continued playing, a single spotlight on him. Optimus supposed that this was definitely not part of the plan and watched bored as Starscream basked in the spotlight as he played his guitar…that was until Megatron came into view backstage with a remote control that had a giant red button on it.

"Oh no," Optimus exclaimed as he watched Megatron press it and a giant wall of speakers rose out of the floor behind Starscream.

Starscream didn't even see it coming as he put his strongest effort into the highest chord possible and suddenly blew everyone out of the nightclub…destroying the nightclub in the process. Only everyone who had been behind the speakers had been safe…that being Megatron and the rest of his Decepticon band, minus Starscream.

Megatron smiled smugly to himself as he continued humming his punky song to himself. He knew Starscream and the rest of the autobots would never hear the same again. It was only a matter of time before the universe was his for the taking…and he had gotten Thunderblast out of the way in the process as well. It had been a good night.

* * *

Optimus groaned, happy to realize he had escaped being buried beneath the rubble of the building, but whatever he had landed on definitely wasn't comfortable. He sat up and nearly screamed when he saw Thunderblast beneath him, and Wing-Saber and Jetfire beneath her. He felt like he had a hangover…

Tonight had definitely been the weirdest night of his life.

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And so ends Punky! I hope you guys enjoyed it, I created it souly for you for my thanks on adding my as your favorite author. I really love you guys...heh...think I could get a few reviews too? XD Thank you all again!


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